Millennials Don’t Date When Instagram is Free

By: Cody Johnson

Why social climate encourages millennials to trade lifelong relationships for a continued hookup culture. 

In his standup special Live at Madison Square Garden, comedian and actor Aziz Ansari performs a segment outlining the difficulties with making plans in the modern world. “What happens anytime you ask somebody to do something?” The answer according to Ansari is a reply of “maybes” and “let’s see what happens.” While the capacity crowd laughs at the delivery of impersonations all to reminiscent of their own friends, Ansari points out that “nobody likes to commit to anything anymore, because we’re terrified of something better coming along.” 

Perhaps more frequent than any generation we’ve seen before, the presence of FOMO is greater for millennials and effecting more aspects than just social media like previously thought. The FOMO acronym stands for the Fear Of Missing Out and its a real fear people who are trying to balance each spectrum of their social lives. 

The FOMO that pushes people to their phones, and inevitably social platforms like Facebook and Instagram project a false sense of connection that has stifled the millennials’ ability to connect socially. Basic levels of connection with the majority of our peers are replaced with DMs rather than first dates. 

Are we scared of connection or just commitment? I believe its the latter, but the shifting plateau of connection has affected our ability to commit to each other. Think of how revolutionary it would be to get yourself and a few friends together once a week for dinner and a movie…or honestly, just UBER Eats and a movie. Also brought up by Ansari in his standup is how less special it has become to actually get together with friends. We already know about what vacation Jason went on, Samantha’s baby announcement and Carolina’s new job. If we already know about the starter conversation topics, all we’re left with is two options: fake it and act surprised to hear about all these moments, or dive straight into deeper conversation. Unfortunately, we’re probably uncomfortable with the first option and don’t know how to attempt the latter. 

If we’re not intimidated by the conversations we’re not used to having when dating, we’re disappointed by who find ourselves dating. Social media doesn’t just connect us, but connects us to the best parts of each other as we display one highlight reel after the next. Have you ever been to a WWE live taping? If you’re watching one of their shows on tv you can change the channel during commercial breaks, but in person you sit through those frequent commercial breaks while no eye popping action takes place…dating in the Instagram generation is similar to attending a WWE live event. 

The temptation is to blame the later marriages on the economic environment of the times, or social pressures to pursue our careers more in our twenties than previous generations. While those are factors of correlation, the causation leans on commitment and expectation issues that are perpetuated by social media.